You deserve relationships with people who are willing and capable of communicating in a mature and healthy manner. People who have long histories of this behavior aren't likely to be "fixed" for your friendship or relationship. In the end, you will be happier and have more time and space in your life for others who are ready for your friendship or love. Consider what causes silent treatment. The silent treatment is a form of attention, power, and control over another person and is a passive-aggressive approach in communication.
At times, people use the silent treatment as a way to punish another person.
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For example, a person may want to shift blame onto you instead of owning their faults. Or, they want to magnify your faults instead of recognizing their own.
Whatever it is, the silent treatment makes you feel guilty or at fault instead of them. Stay calm. Your first reaction may be frustration, anger, or upset. Nothing will become resolved if you both further your contempt for each other! If you notice yourself becoming agitated or angry, focus on your breath. Take long, deep breaths until you feel your body and mind settling down. Start a conversation.
Take the initiative to talk things over. This means that you will be the mature person and approach them to confront the problem. Choose a time when both of your are available and don't have to rush off to anything, then invite them to talk. Are you available to talk on Tuesday? It is their responsibility to express their thoughts and feelings. Invite them to share. Don't assume to know everything Instead, ask lots of open-ended questions to try to elicit some clarity from the person.
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Another option is to write a letter and ask the other person to respond. Sometimes the direct confrontation can be too much if a lot has piled up unsaid. Explain how you feel about being ignored. Make it clear how their silence makes you feel. Tell them that their behavior leaves little room for resolving issues and will likely damage your relationship. Embrace the break. The silent treatment often leads to some time apart. Instead of resenting the person or becoming upset about their actions, appreciate the space and use the time and get in touch with yourself.
Show that you care. The silent treatment can be a way of coping for the person, albeit an ineffective way. Apologize for your own wrongdoings. The silent treatment may be a way of expressing hurt without verbalizing that hurt. Acknowledge any wrongdoing on your own behalf but don't apologize for the sake of ending the silence. Get therapy. Especially if the person is a family member, partner, or spouse, you may benefit in getting counseling together.
Silent treatment is a form of stonewalling, and it does not lead to feelings of intimacy, trust, or happiness in a relationship. See a therapist to help both of you improve your communication and self-expression. You can call your insurance provider or local mental health clinic, or obtain a recommendation from a friend, family member, or physician.
Get social support. Talk to a supportive friend or family member about your experience. You can also talk to a therapist if you want support and coping strategies. Do things that make you feel good.
Instead, focus on doing things that put you in a good space. Make some time for activities you enjoy and are important to you. Do the things that make you feel great. Dealing with the silent treatment can be stressful, so deal with stress regularly. Practice a relaxing activity every day and aim to do it for 30 minutes or more. Well, if it is your name on the lease, you can let them know that it doesn't seem to be working, and start looking for someone to replace them.
If both of your names are on the lease, you might consider a 'contract' of sorts--spelling out each of your responsibilities. Agree not to have dialogue except for the essentials related to the apartment or house. Yes No. Not Helpful 0 Helpful 4. What do you do if your 10 year old keeps giving you the silent treatment. In this case, you actually have some control because you are the parent. You can add consequences to encourage communication, such as "you must answer my questions if you want to use your video game. You want to break this habit before your child becomes a teenager.
Not Helpful 4 Helpful 3. My friend is giving me the silent treatment. But she said with me… she wants to be the best she can possibly be shes putting me on a pedestal which is BS because im imperfect too. She needed to focus on finding out who she is as a person and learning to love herself. She made promises that she wants to find her passions and find herself and that we may not talk for a few months at a time in order to focus on work and ourselves.
Anyway, after a holiday in thailand, she comes back and rings me 2 days after she comes back. She messages me for reassurance before going back to school. Then she shows up suddenly in a friends gathering and asks me to hang out with her after.
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My closest friends and family thinks that she is subconsciously using me as an emotional pillow. Im not the second fiddle.
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Im not an option or a second choice. I told her we need to give each other space. Regardless of how I feel about her and how she feels about me.
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I work with her old college friend in my accounting job. Do NOT message her. Right now. DO NOT. I am torn after reading your silent treatment article. I know shes vulnerable and she just messaged out of concern. The emotional reassurance that shes not getting from her current partner. Is my silent treatment warranted?
Am i doing the right thing for myself or am I being cruel? Please answer. You are not being cruel if you have made it clear that you would like the both of you to have some space and distance between you for a while. It is understandable that you would want space. It must be really difficult seeing her and not having the relationship with her that you would like.
The only way to fade that is to take some time away. Thank you so much for the reply, you made me feel better. What do you think my next move should be? I know its a silly question since there seems to be no next move. Its probably just let time pass.. I developed a relationship with someone who lives in a different state. We got on so well and planned our future together. He said we should cool off for a while, I told him I will wait for him until he can move to my state which is not for a while. I have texted him several times and he has given me the silent treatment for two weeks now.
Julie, I can hear how much this is hurting you. Whatever his reasons for withdrawing from you, the sad and unavoidable truth is that he has withdrawn from you. He has told you really clearly that he is not ready for a relationship and then he has shown you. I know how awful it is when people just withdraw and make themselves completely unreachable. For your own sake, it is important that you believe what he has said about not being ready for a relationship. One finally thing to think about — if you are really honest with yourself would be able to shift from being in a relationship to a friendship?